February

One of my favorite bloggers does a monthly goals post at the beginning of every month to lay out her goals for that month... some goals are simple, like laugh more... others are more work... like read 3 books this month.  I like this idea-- especially since this little newborn of mine requires so much of my time and energy that lists are absolutely ESSENTIAL now.  Not that they weren't before (I'm a type A list writer, just like my dad).

So here are my February Goals.

1. Blog more!  I need to catch up on the last few weeks of pregnancy posts and then Cole's birth and first month.  I NEED to get those done before he gets any bigger and I get farther behind!  I've been great about keeping up with his baby book, but I also plan to do a birth post and then posts for each month.  I'm so sorry for the long zzzzz nap I've been taking away from the blog.  We're just enjoying our new life here as a family of 3. (well 4 if you count Mady).

2. Print out Cole's newborn pics and get them matted and framed

3. Get Cole's birth certificate and SS card and his passport ordered.... we are going international in a few months with our little guy... First family vacation will be to Mexico in June for my sister's wedding.

4. Get back into my pre-preggo skinny jeans.  Self-explanatory.  I'm getting there but still have some baby weight to shed.  It helps that I ran until the day he was born (with a few weeks of bed rest in there)...  it's been easy to get back into the gym routine... not so easy to shed those last few pounds though.

5. Have more playdates with friends.  I still have some close friends to meet up with so they can meet Cole.  He was born over the holidays, so that made it difficult and then the flu epidemic hit, so we've been waiting until everyone is healthy.  Excited to introduce my little guy to all of my buddies!

That's about it for goals.  I think that'll take me until March...easily.  Keep watching for more posts very soon... LO's birth, first month, and our new routine.  Thanks for your prayers for a smooth delivery and healthy baby... God blessed us beyond our wildest dreams.  We're obsessed with little one and he's healthy and gorgeous and we're so happy :)

30 weeks!

30 weeks!  Can't believe it.  We are down to the final stretch.... and stretching certainly is happening.

I have good days and bad days... yesterday was a bad one-- I was contracting on and off all day.. not really painful, but scary, because the last thing I want is to end up in the hospital- at least until he's born.  Then I'll be happy to be there.  I had done some cleaning and walking- nothing to out of the ordinary, but I didn't feel right all day and then noticed that every time I'd stand up, I'd contract.  I drank a bunch of water and laid on my side (my labor & delivery skills kicking in) and called Vanessa at work just to fill her in and make sure I was fine to stay home.  I didn't want to bother the dr if I didn't have to.  She suggested drinking Smart Water (new tip, which was awesome) so I did, and then finally got some sleep last night.

Today, I'm still having an occasional contraction, but not bad and I feel a little better than yesterday.  It's crazy how I've been a labor & delivery nurse for the last 8 years, but it's totally different when you're pregnant.  I try to give myself advice I'd give a patient, but when it's me, I start to panic a little.  Anyways, I see my OB again on Tuesday so I'll fill her in and she'll probably check things out a little further if I'm still contracting.

The nausea hasn't stopped so I'm still on the zofran as needed, and I'm still puking probably once a day, sometimes more.  Nothing like it was the first 22 weeks though.  He's growing proportionally, and everything has looked great on all of his ultrasounds besides the 2-vessel cord and the foci on his heart that hasn't closed yet.

The nursery got painted last weekend thanks to the enormous help of my mother-in-law, father-in-law and hubby.  It took four of us to create the grey stripped accent wall-- oh my gosh, so difficult.  The room looks amazing though.  I am so excited to get the furniture in there and all of the finishing touches.  I'll post some pics when it's all put together.  It doesn't really have a theme-  It's grey and white with some accents of navy and orange.  There is also some nautical and rustic touches since I have always envisioned myself as living on a sailboat for the rest of my life.  I'll have to settle for an Anthropologie sailboat on his shelf for now.

Here are some 30 week pictures.  Please excuse my messy bedroom and horrible picture taking skills.  I hate selfies and it's really hard to do one when you're this pregnant.  I wasn't gonna do any more belly pics but here you go.  I'll update again soon!  Keep praying for my L.O.  (No, he doesn't have a name yet, and the way it's been going, he probably won't until he's born and Jon and I are forced to come to a decision).  :)

28 week updates!

Ohh I owe you guys this one.  I have to stop first and apologize for being MIA over the last few months.  After hyperemesis basically overtook my life, things got a little rough.  I was sick of puking, and sick of writing about it.  Around 22 or 23 weeks, things seemed to finally get a little better.  To this day, I'm still using the Zofran IV pump at home, but take breaks during the day with no meds at all as long as I'm feeling okay.  But things are soooo SOOO much better than losing my stomach 20-30 times a day.

28 weeks this Saturday.  All of a sudden, LO decided he felt like growing and he has.  Within the last week, people have stopped telling me I don't look pregnant and replaced that with "wow, he's popped!"  Not sure if I'm offended by that or not.  Bottom line, my stomach is bigger and the kicks are harder and all of a sudden, I'm uncomfortable.  Hurts to sit, hurts to stand, sleep is very uncomfortable.  And LO loves to kick constantly.  I don't think I have alot of cushion between him and my skin because my whole stomach moves when he kicks and that HURTS!  Lo is gonna be an athlete.  How could he not with his father's genes and mine?

Jon is finally off my back about eating and running.  He's been giving me a hard time since the day the Lo was conceived about how I need to be eating more and I better be growing him right, etc etc.  For weeks he's told me I'm not big enough, even though I was growing fine.  This week, he looked at me and said "whoa. he's really in there."  HA!  Told you, husband.  I know what I'm doing.

Mady and the L.O have become best buddies. lately, when she barks, he kicks.  It's beyond adorable.

OK, mama is tired.  I'll do another post this week about what I ended up registering for this past weekend and you can all weigh in on what I really do and don't need.  Then we have to figure out a baby's room, people.  I need your help with that too.  And by the way, if you could give us a name that we both like, that would be much appreciated.  so there's your homework.  weigh in on my registry, design my nursery, and pick out a name for the L.O.

"L.O" or "Lo" is what I've been calling him for short-- in place of "little one".  :)

Bermuda with Baby on Board!

Bermuda was amazing!!  Trip of a lifetime.

When I was sick and in the hospital, my entire family was affected.  Everyone was affected, and everyone had to deal with what happened in their own way.  Watching me almost die and then fight and fight for my life took a toll on everyone in my family.  Dealing with doctors at the first hospital not knowing what I had or how to treat it killed my family.  Being told I would lose my leg, watching me go into surgery after surgery... feeling hope and then having that hope taken away time and time again... watching me struggle in pain, fight the ventilator, my vitals getting worse and worse... worse then better then worse again... the pain of it all really hurt everyone in their own way.

When I was finally a tiny bit better and on the road to recovery, but still in the hospital, my Uncle Steve, Aunt Nancy, and cousin Nikki came to visit me.  Everyone was tired and defeated but hopeful and thankful of miracle after miracle they had witnessed.  God had stepped in and taken over and saved my life and everyone couldn't help but feel thankful, blessed, and in awe of God and the power of family, love, faith, and prayer.  On Christmas, when everyone was visiting me in the hospital, Uncle Steve announced that when I was healed and better, he wanted to celebrate this miracle by taking the entire family on a cruise.

Last week, he took 20 Bahrs on a sail to Bermuda.  It was absolutely breathtaking and beautiful and amazing and such a complete blessing to all be together celebrating life and God's miracle.  It was a step in the healing process that we all needed.  Just to be together, laugh, have fun.  I can never thank him enough for the precious gift that he gave to me and my family.  I'm in awe of his generosity.

Probably my favorite thing we did was the day Jon, me, my best cousin Bryan and his wife Gaby rented mopeds and explored the island.  We drove to Horseshoe Bay Beach where we met up with the rest of the family and spent the day there.  It was so much fun and so insanely beautiful.  And I trekked up a very steep cliff with my little fighter of a leg.  It was amazing to see how far I've come physically.  I had to take a minute up there looking out at the beauty of the sea and the cliffs and just thank God for saving me and my leg and for the determination he bestowed upon me since birth-- that I'm a fighter and I won't give up, no matter how hard it is.

The hyperemesis was still in full force, so I had my IV in the whole time.  But after a day or two, the sea and the air calmed me like it always does.  I remember how on my honeymoon in Kauai last year, my pain (still pretty fresh at the time) seemed to get better the longer I was there.  On Friday (the second to last day of our trip), I decided to take the IV out while we were driving the mopeds.

Little did I realize that night we'd experience the worst waves and boat rocking our captain had ever experienced in his 25 years.  We were sailing home on the outskirts of Hurricane Anthony and the boat started rocking back and forth so bad I couldn't stand up without falling.  Immediately the vomiting started and it was continuous, every 5 or so minutes all night long.  The next day, the boat continued to rock and all I could do was lay there and want to die.  By that time, the vomiting was about once an hour.  I couldn't even keep a sip of water down without throwing up immediately.  I would try to stand up and my legs would literally give out, a combination of extreme sea sickness/hyperemesis, dizziness, and weakness from lack of food and fluids.  At one point, Jon got me into the shower and I sat on the floor, just throwing up over and over, and Jon ran to find my parents to try and get some dramamine.  My cousin Lance had some, but as soon as I took it, I threw up.  I thought I was gonna die that night... seriously.  Jon and I were both scared.... here we were in a boat in the middle of the ocean without a hospital to help me.  At last, Jon was able to get me up to my parents room on a higher deck and I felt better being higher up where the rocking was a little less and I could breathe fresh air from their balcony.  As the second day went on, the sea began to calm and my stomach started to calm too.  It took a few days to feel back to normal but I'm feeling much better now.  Other than that little hiccup, the trip was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I just can never thank my Uncle Steve and Aunt Nancy enough for blessing me, Jon, and my whole Bahr family with the trip of a lifetime.

Had a dr appointment yesterday.  Baby boy is doing great, but mama isn't yet.  My nec fasc or scars haven't been an issue at all.... it's the darn hyperemesis.  I lost 5 more lbs and the doc said any more and I'm getting a feeding tube.  For now, we're gonna try Ensure (ewwww hospital flashback!!) and protein shakes.  Please pray that this vomiting subsides soon and kiddo keeps growing.  We're gonna start doing serial ultrasounds (every 4 weeks, then every 2 weeks, then every week and then biweekly until delivery).  Dr. Yockey foresees bed rest in the future and we're doing every lab and every preventative measure to prevent that.  She's concerned that the organ failure during nec fasc might cause some preterm labor or pre-eclampsia/eclampsia later on, so we're being extra viligent.  Again, I have the best OB team watching me and this baby and we are so blessed for that.

Keep praying for our little man...grow bean grow!  Pray that he is HEALTHY. That's all we care about.  

16 week pictures!

16.5 weeks!  We're well into the second trimester and the hyperemesis has no end in sight.  I still have the IV pump in continuously.  I'm gonna write a more detailed post later about our trip to Bermuda but we just got home a day and a half ago, and I have so much to do.  But I did want to post a 16 week picture.  Definitely a bump there.  Our little man is growing!

13 weeks and 12 miles!!!

13 weeks today!

I celebrated by running 12 miles early this morning.... my longest run to date since recovery.  It is amazing what a continuous IV of zofran can do!!

I feel alot better with this med.  It's a pain carrying around the pump, but I detach it when I'm running or showering and then just restart it when I'm done and give myself a bolus before and after.  The first night it was placed, I ran and I had to stop twice to puke.  Detaching it made me immediately sick.  But the Dr. said that I could detach it and bolus it before and after if I wanted to run, and see how that works.  Technically I could leave it attached to me while I'm running, but honestly, it's so much easier to just take it off for that time.  Plus, they've upped the dose twice since they started it, and I think that's really helping too.

I'm still throwing up, but I only threw up ONCE yesterday.... YAY!!!

Now, let's hope we're almost past this stage so I can get the IV out.  I think it will probably be at least a few more weeks, but I'm praying it's out by the time we go to Bermuda.... we leave in 2 weeks!!

Last night, we celebrated Jon's first "father's day" by going to the Belly Factory to see the baby on ultrasound.  It's a really cute and cool place that does ultrasounds at any time.  Of course, this isn't covered by insurance, so it isn't cheap, but it's nice to be able to go and see the peanut whenever we want.  Baby was soooo cute again.  Legs were straight up in the air again.  Must've been stretching after a kicking session.  Jon got to see the baby moving alot and punching his/her arms.  Soo sweet.  Heart rate was 164.... still in the girl zone, but again, none of that stuff really matters... this little could be a boy or girl.  And we find out this week!!!!  YAY!!

Please continue to pray for a healthy, healthy, healthy, baby.  thank you!

12+4.. and pictures!

Well here we are... 12 weeks 4 days!!

Last week, I had a BIG ultrasound.  The ultrasound in the safe (safer) zone.  My previous ultrasound was around 8 weeks, so from 8-12 weeks I had to just cross my fingers and pray that baby was ok and continuing to grow and develop.

When the ultrasound tech (and let me just mention that my doctor has the BEST ultrasound tech in the world) put the US on and I immediately saw and heard the bean, who is no longer a bean, I couldn't help but laugh and cry at the same time.  Our kiddo is SOOOO CUTE.  He or she is a real baby now!! I could see everything- the head, face, body, arms, legs.  The funniest part was when she first put the probe on, I saw a perfect profile of the baby, and baby's leg was sticking straight up in the air.  I laughed so hard because that is exactly the position I was in when I was in the coma in the hospital.  Everytime my family or the doctor came into my room, I was laying there with my leg just straight up and out in the air.  No one knew why, but I was always doing it.  It probably felt more comfortable to me somehow, or alleviated the pain in my leg or back.  Not sure, but when I saw my baby laying there with one leg up and out in the air, it was just beyond hilarious and prophetic and beautiful.  You wanna see a picture of my peanut??  Look closely and you'll see his/her little leg up in the air like mama.

How cute is that little foot??

About a minute after I watched my baby lay there with his/her leg in the air with the tech explaining what everything was, all of a sudden, the baby started moving.  He/she started kicking his/her legs really fast and stretching his/her arms.  Looked like my little is gonna be a runner like mama.  Those little legs kicking so fast looked like my baby couldn't wait to get out and start running.  Which is good, because he/she is gonna spend alot of time with mama in the jogging stroller running around Naperville  when he or she is born.  

Speaking of running, I'm still keeping up with it and running anywhere from 6-10 miles a day, usually about 6 days a week.  My speed hasn't suffered either....yet.  Around a 7:00 min split.  I've started using the belly band when I'm running because it feels more secure and I feel like I'm not bouncing the baby around.  And thank you all for your sweet concerns, but no worries, my doctor has okay'ed my running and is keeping very close track of my activity, diet, & baby.  I am in that office constantly, which is kinda nice, because I love my doctor, Dr. Yockey, and her midwives Nicole and Donna.  

And as for the vomiting.  Now it's officially been diagnosed as hyperemesis and I am on a continuous zofran IV pump.  There's a little tube that goes directly into my stomach to administer the med and I just got it put in this morning, so it's too early to tell if it will help.  With the oral zofran pills, I was throwing up around 6-10 times a day.  And if I went a day without the zofran, I would literally throw up every hour, sometimes more.  For example, I ran out on Saturday and didn't take it for half of Saturday and part of Sunday, and by Sunday morning, I was throwing up every 15 minutes, intense intense dry heaving....I couldn't breathe.  It was horrible.  At my appointment last week, they realized I've lost 7 lbs and that was it... decision was made to start the IV infusion.  At least it's at home and I don't have to go into the hospital, although if I lose anymore weight or this pump doesn't cut it, I'm gonna find myself back in the hospital with the freaking tube feedings again.  Please take a second and pray for me that it doesn't get to that level.  

Despite the weight loss, my little one has been growing steadily and I have a little bump to prove it.  I'm so proud of that little peanut in there, just growing and moving and developing, even though his/her mama has been so sick.  He/she is still measuring about 2 weeks small, but the growth is consistent and steady.  Here's some (rare) pictures of my belly bump.  I am sooo not the type to take preggo pictures, so don't expect to see a preg photoshoot from this girl.  No offense to those who do, but it's just never been something I've wanted to do.  I do want to keep track of my bump growth, so I'll take an occasional pic of the bump and share if I feel ok to do it.  Here you go.. please don't judge my messy bathroom and scrub pants/hoodie outfit.  I've already puked 4 times this morning and I'm not dressing up just to throw up all over myself.

Please also excuse my abdominal scars.  

So, there you have it.  Please continue to pray for a healthy baby, a healthy pregnancy, and a stop in the  vomiting.  I HATE HYPEREMESIS.  Oh yes, one more exciting thing.... we will be finding out the sex of the baby NEXT WEEK!  I know it's early, but the first trimester blood test for genetic screening now tells you the sex of the baby around 2 weeks after the blood test.  They took my labs last week, so by next week, we'll know if this is a miss or mr.  Any guesses?