Gifts.

I thought I'd give you all a little update on my friend from McDonalds.  She doesn't want her name out there, so let's call her Jill.

OMG you guys, you would be so proud of her fierceness.  She is a warrior.  She is doing so much better.  She is braver than most everyone I know, and she continues to get up every morning, take care of those kids, and LIVE.

She is moving up to Michigan soon and in with her parents.  Her parents are going to love on her and love on those kids and let her BREATHE again so she can learn how to love herself again.  That husband of hers (soon to be ex) took her BREATHING away.  Now it's not so easy anymore.  Now she has to remember to close her eyes....breathe...and then keep going.  Now she has to try to get through a minute.  And then another... And then another.... and once she's gotten through that a bunch of times, she realizes another day has gone by and she's gotten through it and she's still alive.  She's praying now, too.  I told her that it's okay if she doesn't feel like going to church right now, but the one thing she should do is keep talking to God.  Just keep the communication lines open, I told her.  Then you'll never really be alone.

The fact that God put me in her way to stop her from taking her own life is a gift to me.  It's a day and moment that I'll never ever forget.  I didn't buy her McDonalds knowing it would change both of us forever.  I just wanted to see how it feels to do that for someone.  It was really for myself.  I've always been the type of person who likes to GIVE better than GET.  I love watching someone open something that I picked out especially for him or her.  My entire family is like that, in fact.  My parents get SO EXCITED every Christmas.  Not just because they get to see us for two weeks straight either.  They love going shopping together and picking out things for the the people they love, so they can watch their laughs and squeals and happiness when they open those gifts.

Paying it forward is way of life I've chosen since I survived my illness.  When I was in the hospital and cards and prayers and Amy bracelets and money that was so desperately needed were coming in, my parents sat with and told me.... "When this is all over....when you've beat this.... you have to pay it forward.  God allowed you to live because He's not done with you yet.  You were put here for something more.  You have to pay it forward for all these prayer warriors who saved you."  So, that's what I decided to do.  McDonalds was the first step.  My blog is another.  I've decided to write this story down, not for me, but for YOU.  Because without your thoughts and prayers and cards and love, I'd be dead, you guys.  This blog is a gift to you.  You deserve to know what happened.  You deserve to know who you prayed for...what she went through...what kind of person she is....what kind of miracles God performed because of YOU.  This is one way I'm paying it forward.