A Year Ago Today.

A year ago today, my life changed forever.

A year ago today was the day I woke up feeling pain in my right leg.  Thinking back to it now, it's crazy to me that what I thought was a muscle pull or soreness from running that morning was actually the start of necrotizing fasciitis.

Sunday will be the 1 year anniversary of my first surgery and two month hospitalization, and I have an emotional and reflective post I've been working on for that.  But a year ago today marks the day that I realized I was sick, and something was terribly and irreversibly wrong.

That morning, I felt sore, but didn't think much of it.  When I went to work that night, it had started to get worse, but I still thought I had just pulled something.  I was limping when I started my shift.  After day shift left, Laura Grabowski, Nancy Evett, and I were sitting at the nurses' station talking about how our weekends had gone and what our plans were for Thanksgiving, which was just a few weeks away. My leg had started swelling a little, so I pulled up my scrub pants leg and showed the girls.... "Look at my leg," I told them.  "I think I pulled something running.  It's really bothering me and now its starting to get swollen."  At that point, we weren't very busy, so Laura (who was in charge) asked me if I wanted to go home.  I refused, telling her that I thought it would be okay and as long as it stayed pretty slow and I didn't have to be running all over the place, I should be okay.  I did feel a little strange, so I checked my temp.  It was normal.

As the night went on, it became increasingly painful and increasingly swollen.  I kept pulling up my pants leg to look at it.  What the heck is going on? I wondered.  "You need to go get it checked out tomorrow, Ames," said Nancy.  I knew I did too, but there was the whole insurance thing.  I just had to make it a month and a half and I'd have my insurance started back up again.

By around 3 or 4, I was sick..... really sick.  And coincidentally, the board had filled up and there were patients coming in left and right.  Around 5, Nancy's patient had a crash c-section and Laura had to run back with her to help her get going.  I was manning the rest of the floor, and ducking into the bathroom to throw up every 10 minutes.  The pain was awful.  I felt like I had the flu.  At 5:30, I rechecked my temp and it was now 101.  In between Laura and I running in between all of the rooms and trying to get through the last hour and a half of work in one piece, I told her that I was really sick now and needed to get out of there asap.  "I'll call someone in," she said.  I looked at the clock--- 6 a.m.  "No, just forget it, I think I can make it through this last hour, but as soon as someone gets here, I have to get out of here," I told her.  "Like I can't wait for them to grab coffee and wait until 7... I need to get the heck out of here."  Thank God for Laura-- as soon as the day shift started arriving- around 6:45 a.m... she grabbed the first nurse and told her to take my patients because I needed to leave NOW.  I was REALLY sick.

I don't remember giving report or what I said, I just remember feeling the urgency to get the hell out of there and get home to my bathtub and bed.  When I got home, my fever was up to 103.  I took tylenol, took a hot bath, and then went to bed-- and didn't get up until 18 hours later.  You can read how the rest of my week went here, what happened next, and how BIG my Big got.  In 5 days, it will be my 1 year anniversary of the day I was hospitalized and had my first of 7 surgeries.

On that anniversary, I'll go into how much things have changed in the last year, what I've learned, and how I've grown.

Exactly one year ago today, necrotizing fasciitis decided to invade my body and change me forever.  It has been the hardest, scariest, and worst year of my life.  Little did I know what was ahead of me, and it's a blessing that I didn't know.  More importantly, it's a blessing that I'm alive today.  Thank you, God, for saving my life one year ago today.  Thank you, friends and family, for your prayers and endless support and love.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank YOU.

I'll meet you here on Sunday, friends.  It will be an emotional day for me, re-living this last year and realizing how far I've come.  Bring some kleenex, prayers, and lots of hugs.