When I was sick and in the hospital, my entire family was affected. Everyone was affected, and everyone had to deal with what happened in their own way. Watching me almost die and then fight and fight for my life took a toll on everyone in my family. Dealing with doctors at the first hospital not knowing what I had or how to treat it killed my family. Being told I would lose my leg, watching me go into surgery after surgery... feeling hope and then having that hope taken away time and time again... watching me struggle in pain, fight the ventilator, my vitals getting worse and worse... worse then better then worse again... the pain of it all really hurt everyone in their own way.
When I was finally a tiny bit better and on the road to recovery, but still in the hospital, my Uncle Steve, Aunt Nancy, and cousin Nikki came to visit me. Everyone was tired and defeated but hopeful and thankful of miracle after miracle they had witnessed. God had stepped in and taken over and saved my life and everyone couldn't help but feel thankful, blessed, and in awe of God and the power of family, love, faith, and prayer. On Christmas, when everyone was visiting me in the hospital, Uncle Steve announced that when I was healed and better, he wanted to celebrate this miracle by taking the entire family on a cruise.
Last week, he took 20 Bahrs on a sail to Bermuda. It was absolutely breathtaking and beautiful and amazing and such a complete blessing to all be together celebrating life and God's miracle. It was a step in the healing process that we all needed. Just to be together, laugh, have fun. I can never thank him enough for the precious gift that he gave to me and my family. I'm in awe of his generosity.
Probably my favorite thing we did was the day Jon, me, my best cousin Bryan and his wife Gaby rented mopeds and explored the island. We drove to Horseshoe Bay Beach where we met up with the rest of the family and spent the day there. It was so much fun and so insanely beautiful. And I trekked up a very steep cliff with my little fighter of a leg. It was amazing to see how far I've come physically. I had to take a minute up there looking out at the beauty of the sea and the cliffs and just thank God for saving me and my leg and for the determination he bestowed upon me since birth-- that I'm a fighter and I won't give up, no matter how hard it is.
The hyperemesis was still in full force, so I had my IV in the whole time. But after a day or two, the sea and the air calmed me like it always does. I remember how on my honeymoon in Kauai last year, my pain (still pretty fresh at the time) seemed to get better the longer I was there. On Friday (the second to last day of our trip), I decided to take the IV out while we were driving the mopeds.
Little did I realize that night we'd experience the worst waves and boat rocking our captain had ever experienced in his 25 years. We were sailing home on the outskirts of Hurricane Anthony and the boat started rocking back and forth so bad I couldn't stand up without falling. Immediately the vomiting started and it was continuous, every 5 or so minutes all night long. The next day, the boat continued to rock and all I could do was lay there and want to die. By that time, the vomiting was about once an hour. I couldn't even keep a sip of water down without throwing up immediately. I would try to stand up and my legs would literally give out, a combination of extreme sea sickness/hyperemesis, dizziness, and weakness from lack of food and fluids. At one point, Jon got me into the shower and I sat on the floor, just throwing up over and over, and Jon ran to find my parents to try and get some dramamine. My cousin Lance had some, but as soon as I took it, I threw up. I thought I was gonna die that night... seriously. Jon and I were both scared.... here we were in a boat in the middle of the ocean without a hospital to help me. At last, Jon was able to get me up to my parents room on a higher deck and I felt better being higher up where the rocking was a little less and I could breathe fresh air from their balcony. As the second day went on, the sea began to calm and my stomach started to calm too. It took a few days to feel back to normal but I'm feeling much better now. Other than that little hiccup, the trip was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I just can never thank my Uncle Steve and Aunt Nancy enough for blessing me, Jon, and my whole Bahr family with the trip of a lifetime.
Had a dr appointment yesterday. Baby boy is doing great, but mama isn't yet. My nec fasc or scars haven't been an issue at all.... it's the darn hyperemesis. I lost 5 more lbs and the doc said any more and I'm getting a feeding tube. For now, we're gonna try Ensure (ewwww hospital flashback!!) and protein shakes. Please pray that this vomiting subsides soon and kiddo keeps growing. We're gonna start doing serial ultrasounds (every 4 weeks, then every 2 weeks, then every week and then biweekly until delivery). Dr. Yockey foresees bed rest in the future and we're doing every lab and every preventative measure to prevent that. She's concerned that the organ failure during nec fasc might cause some preterm labor or pre-eclampsia/eclampsia later on, so we're being extra viligent. Again, I have the best OB team watching me and this baby and we are so blessed for that.
Keep praying for our little man...grow bean grow! Pray that he is HEALTHY. That's all we care about.