Friday, June 21, 2013

A BIG walk.

Does anyone mind if I skip over the BIG for a little while so I can write about our wedding and honeymoon?  I guess I'm not really skipping over anything.... the wedding was the BIGGEST day of my life.  From coma to the alter in 6 months.

After I had that last surgery, the CLOSER, and I got to the rehab floor... the first thing they did was sit me down for a meeting with my physical therapist, occupational therapist, rehab MD, and rehab nurses.  They asked me to make a list of goals for PT and rehab.  The number one goal on my list?

                           To walk down the aisle on my wedding day.

On May 26th, I got to do just that.  I worked my tail off for six months to be on my feet and strong enough to make it down the aisle.  Not only did I want to walk down the aisle, but I wanted to do it without the walker.  I had been using the walker for all trips out, doctors appointments, my bridal showers, even my bachelorette party.  I just didn't have the strength in the leg to be up for long periods of time....after awhile, I would lose all strength in the leg and just collapse on it.  It wasn't fun using that damn walker.  People looked at me crazy wherever we went.  I couldn't help but feel the sympathetic and curious stares as I showed up at the fancy restaurant for my Bachelorette dinner.  My friends were used to it and didn't think twice....but the other people in the restaurant were flabbergasted that a young girl in a little black dress and 5 inch peep toes was limping by in a walker.  Just a weird sight.

For two weeks before the wedding, I kept the walker at home and didn't use it for anything.  It was hard, and I fell several times.  I found myself in a lot more pain and physically drained, but I used it as to get me ready for my wedding day walk.  Also, I decided that I wasn't bringing the walker on the honeymoon.  I knew we'd have enough to lug around with two weeks worth of luggage, and also.....probably the main reason.... I wanted to treat my honeymoon like I was healed.  I wanted to forget Nec Fasc for two weeks and just pretend it all never happened.  I wanted to be beautiful and strong and scarless for my new husband.  So I put the walker aside, and worked my legs HARD for the  weeks before the wedding.

I woke up on my wedding day feeling so happy and so excited and so strong.  I knew I was gonna do it.  I was gonna take my daddy's arm and walk right down to my husband.  Just me and my dad.  No walker necessary.   And look what happened...

There I went!!  No walker!  Walking down that aisle was one of the most emotional parts of the whole day.  As soon as I heard our beautiful music (all custom, favorite songs of mine)....I started sobbing.  By the time I was halfway down to see my husband, I looked like this...

Those are happy tears!  :)  And when my mom, who had spent the last six months nursing her baby back to health....who had spent all day every day in a hospital room for two months....who had watched as her girl had taken her first steps post surgeries....who had cried with her girl during therapy when they both realized just how hard it was gonna be.....when she saw me walk down the aisle.... she looked like this....

Needless to day....the BIG walk.... it was HUGE.  It was the start of the most beautiful wedding ceremony I've ever seen.  We ALL cried together the WHOLE TIME.  It was a celebration of hard work, and Love, and God's grace.  It was a celebration of YOUR prayers....who kept this Bride alive...and let her walk again.  It was a celebration of the blood, sweat, and tears that went into walking down the aisle.  It was a celebration of Family....our families as ONE....Family who had weathered the storm together and knew how bad it got and how great that walk was.  Love wins.

MUCH more to come....  (I'm a wife to go kiss that husband of mine)  :)

Monday, June 10, 2013

My vows.

From the moment I was born, my parents started praying for my future husband.  And boy did God outdo himself.

God blessed me so richly with the most perfect man, my best friend, and my soulmate.

Today as I become your wife, I want to promise you that I'll always support you, always respect you, and always love you like crazy.

I promise that I'll always put you first...before myself and before our future children.

I'll love you unconditionally..when times are good and when they're bad.

And after the last few months, we've come to really practice that one.  When I was sick, you showed me what it really means to support each other in sickness.  Despite the scariness, despite being told I wouldn't live, and I wouldn't have a leg... you never stumbled or left my side.  When the pain was at its worst, when the scarring and the side effects resulted in me crying pm  bathroom floor.... you picked me up, and held me, and you told me I'd never looked more beautiful.  You saved me.      You proved that you'll always practice these vows for the rest of our lives...then...and now.  You're the most generous, loving, affectionate person I've ever met.  I'm committed to you always and forever as your best friend... and as your loving wife.

I vow to fiercely love you, in all your forms. now and forever.  I promise to always know in the deepest part of my soul, no matter how far life takes us apart...we'll always find a way back to each other.

I love you.            

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


In Kauai, honeymoon bliss. Ill be back soon to tell you the stories of my amazing wedding day and the best two weeks I could ever imagine with my husband in paradise....and to finish the story of my BIG.  One thing I can tell you is that the sun, stunningly beautiful beach, water, sand, waves, and my husband are healing me.  Love to you all, back soon!